How NOT to get a sponsorship

Just one day after reading a good story on chasing sponsorships in the December issue of Triathlete Magazine, I got this email:

“hi gordon

my name is DELETED FOR HUMANITARIAN REASONS i’m a former mountain runner, and new xterra athlete. i’m looking for sponsors for the 2011 season. i just got my pro card for triathlons for the 2011 season good so i decided to take a risk and try xterras’s full time. i’m currently looking for a running shoe, apparel and bike sponsors; i’m also open to any other sponsorship opportunities.
let me know if you need a resume or results from the 2010 season

Wow. WOW. We get a lot of these emails every month (last week from a former Kona podium placer and multiple IM winner), and this one stands out for its pure worse-ness. Here was my reply. I’m not sure if it was a waste of my time, but I’m fascinated at how he or she will do in the upcoming “xterras’s”:

“Oh my gosh, DELETED FOR HUMANITARIAN REASONS! That’s the worst sponsorship pitch I’ve ever read! DON’T get mad! It’s just … you need to really put more effort into it if you want something, right?

There’s a good article on chasing sponsorships in this month’s Triathlete Magazine, so do check that out. Then put together a package and get back to me, ok? I’d love to help you out. (Here’s one hint: you didn’t hyperlink your name to a wikipedia entry on yourself. Don’t have a wiki entry? Write one. Too much work? Link me to your website. You do have a website, right? No? Well you need one. Too much work? Link me to an article written by you or about you. None exist? Like me to at least your top results. Too much work? Then don’t ask for sponsorships.)

Oh: and grammar and punctuation matter. They matter a lot.

Congrats on getting your pro card and keep me in the loop.”

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